IVF Update

My suppression check was on Thursday the 27th. Everything went smoothly. The lining was thin and I had just a couple of small visible follicles. There were no cysts or polyps, thank goodness. I had blood drawn and later got a call that my estrogen was 15, which is nice and low. They gave me the ok to start the stimulating hormones. I'm on the highest dose because they want to make sure I get a good response this time. When I did IVF two years ago, my doses were lower and my results were below average (and no baby obviously). I'll do 2 vials of Menopur in the mornings and 300 IU's of Follistim in the evenings. I'll continue on Lupron as well, but they have reduced my dose to 5 units down from 10.

Thanks so much to those of you who have sent me messages. I have really appreciated so much support and enthusiasm about this new adventure!

Tropical Moments



Just checking in...everything is running smoothly so far. I'm finished with the 3 weeks of b/c pills and have been doing Lupron shots the last week along with aspirin, prenatals, doxycycline and dexamethasone. The Lupron is administered in tiny little shots in my belly each night--nothing painful or scary. I have Bryan give them to me while I close my eyes though just in case. My suppression check is on Thursday the 27th and then I'll be starting the stimulating hormones if all looks well. The only side effects so far are major "tropical moments" as the next generation up from me likes to call them! I have woken up in a sweat on more than one occasion in the past week. Maybe if I'm really creative, I can imagine myself on this fabulous white sand beach. ahhh!

New Year, New IVF Calendar

Happy New Year! Here we go again, moving forward with IVF. Tomorrow I start the bc pills. I'm focused and alert this time, so no mess-ups! ORM emailed us a brand new calendar today, which gives all of the details, so we know what to expect. Looks like Jan 27th will be the suppression check, then the retrieval will be sometime the week of Feb 9th. Approximately 5 days later will be the embryo transfer. We would love your prayer support for God's timing here and peace in the midst of this journey. As you can imagine, the waiting is the roughest part. It's a lot like being a kid on Christmas morning. I just opened a card from my friend Gretchen and she reminded me of a wonderful quote (perfect timing, thank you friend!)

" Nothing is wasted in God's economy: The events leading up to a miracle are just as significant as the miracle itself" ~ Marlinda Ireland

This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

They're here! The drugs are here! I'll be swallowing, mixing and getting poked very soon. However, I have had a minor set-back (again) because my brain was not working. Somehow I thought that I put the birth control pills I was supposed to be taking in my pill box and had been taking them every night with my vitamins. WELL, not so much. I missed 6 whole days. After a minor freak-out, I called the doctor and he got me in the next day (last Sunday) for blood work and an ultra sound. That night, he had me do a trigger shot to make sure I ovulated. By next weekend, Aunt Flo should arrive and I'm supposed to call the clinic.  My nurse will then have me start taking the pill again and get me a new calendar. It's looking like February is going to be the big month now!

Merry Christmas Eve Eve everyone!!

Injections Class

Yesterday we attended a training session on how to administer the injectible medications. Overall, I liked the class. The nurses were super nice and helpful. We got to practice our poking on little plastic things that represent bellies and backsides. I feel ready! I suppose it helps that I've done this before and know what to expect. The shots are not exactly fun, but I'm so looking forward to getting this process underway. This is making me tough!

IVF Updates

Hello friends and fam! I'm back. It's been a while since I wrote because not much was happening. Things are coming along finally, so I'm getting re-excited. Today we ordered the medicine, so I feel like it's really coming soon now! My parents have been very very helpful in making this happen for us and I am soooo appreciative.

Here's my update:

Nov 8th I had some blood work for my FSH level and Estrodiol. They both looked good. Then I had an ultrasound to check resting follicles and they were ok. I had 4 on one side (not great) and 9 on the other (good). Overall, Dr Bankowski thought things looked fine enough and I am a good candidate for IVF. He would like to use a higher dosage of stimulating hormones than on my 1st try.

A couple of weeks ago, I received my IVF calendar from my nurse, Carol. It was like opening a Christmas present! I LOVE the clinic I'm at and how organized they are.  I will begin birth control around Dec 4th. Bryan and I will attend a class on Dec 13th to learn more about injections. We did them last time, but maybe this clinic has some special tricks we should know about! Then, around Dec 15th I'll start Lupron. Those are the shots that put me in a temporary state of menopause. (Yes, I'll probably have hot flashes--I did last time!). If all goes well, I'll start my stimulating shots January 1st so I can start growing lots of eggs (yuck that sounds like some type of insect). Between January 13 and 15th they'll harvest the eggs, fertilize them in the test tubes and let them grow for about 5 days. When they reach the blastocyst stage about day 5, I'll go back in and have them put back in the oven. The "best" case scenario speaking in my feeble little human mind would be to have 2 beautiful embryos to put in and some others left to freeze for later. However, I'm trusting that God will provide just the right number for us and we'll have peace with whatever He gives us (I'll admit I"m hoping He doesn't say 0 so please pray for us!)   After they transfer the embryos back in, I'll be on bed rest for 2 days. At my last clinic, they did not really recommend it, so this will be something new. About 9 days after that, I'll go in for the big fat blood test. I know from experience that it will be the longest 9 days of my life! I'm going to do my best to stay distracted. Anyone have a fun book series to recommend?

That's all for now. Hope all is well out there!

Seeing the Sights of Holland

Yesterday I got a call from Carol, my IVF coordinator at ORM. She was touching base to let me know that they received records from my previous doctor (Stoelk) who performed my 1st IVF. They met as a team to review the records/ discuss my case and determined that it would be best to have me start the treatment after the closure (last 2 weeks in December). She said that they feel I would get better results on a traditional protocol, on which I would need a bit more time.

I felt a little sad that I'd have to wait yet another month. However, I'm so glad that they are not just pushing me through, trying to get me "done". It's clear to me that they have the patient's best interest in mind at this clinic, doing what is really right. They seem to be focused on patients as individuals, with different needs. Again, as I have been many times on this path, I was reminded of God's perfect timing, though it's not my own.

This week something finally sunk in to me: I have been comparing myself to others. I've been on a rocky path tripping all along the way because I'm looking away, caught up in watching other people's paths, not my own. I'm so thankful  that was revealed to me, because I'm already feeling more confident on my own bumpy trail. Little things have stood out to me differently this week. For example, I intentionally wore a sweater with a hole in it because I realized how perfect it was for me. I'm not perfect, but I'm OK!

A wonderful person shared this story with me a couple of weeks ago, and it's become a big reminder to me of how to look at life. I think it applies to everyone--no matter what situation...

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.