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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Banzai

So I went in for my blood/ ultrasound today hoping for really great news. I've been poking myself like a maniac and I'm on the highest protocol the clinic offers. Unfortunately, my body has not responded as hoped. My follicle count was really low--2 on the right and 4 on the left. (A normal response would be a least double or triple this amount). Dr. B suggested that we stop right now and start over again next month after I get a cycle in hopes that maybe I could produce more follicles. This could be a bad month. He said if I don't get more, we would just press on and hope for the best. When there are so few eggs, it just doesn't give them a lot to work with. The term for my status is "diminished ovarian reserve" which seems to be more and more common. I actually know three other women experiencing something similar.

Breaking news...just got a phone call from the nurse with my estrodial, which was 134. Also, they have discussed my case and come up with something a little different. They want me to take the Menopur (one of the stims) for 2 more days so my eggs keep growing, then do a trigger shot on Feb.5th. This will give them more control over when I ovulate so they know when to start me out on medicine next month.

While all of this is super frustrating, all I can do is try to trust the Lord in His perfect timing. I don't put a lot of stock in numbers because it only takes one good egg. It's just the waiting that kills me sometimes. I hope this is building LOTS of character in me. I think of myself as a banzai tree getting clipped into an interesting little shape right now. When you're getting pruned, it is no fun being the tree, but it's worth it in the end! Here's the passage that comes to mind...

John 15:
1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 comments:

  1. Oh Jenny I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Love Andrea

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  2. If only God would show us his timing at the beginning so we knew what was to come :-) I'm so sorry this cycle isn't the one, but I'm glad to hear ORM is managing your cycle so closely. I know how hard the start and stop process can be, so I'll be praying for peace for you. Sounds like you have a great attitude about it.
    Let me know if you have to order any more meds and I can see what I have that I can give you before you order.
    Praying for God's provision and blessing on you! Hugs and Love! Lindsey

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  3. Jenny, you dont know me but I have been following your blog. I was a patient at ORM as well. My first IVF cycle failed, my second was cancelled, and my third was rough but successful. I really feel it was a miracle that only god could create. At the beginning of my last IVF cycle I was not responding at all. My ovaries did not kick in until around 9 days of stimulation. And even at that point I only have 4 or 5 follicles that were growing. My husband and decided to move forward with IVF if we only had 4 follicles. I ended up stimulating for 16 days....yes longer then the clinic allows. I was on 375 of gonal F plus the overfill and three vials of menopur. I ended up with 9 eggs at my retrieval, 5 were mature, 4 fertilized, and we had 2 bad quality embryos to transfer on day 5. And that cycle worked. It only takes one egg, so try to stay positive! If you would like to email me my email is Kristin@taggarts.com

    Continue to trust in the lord.
    Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself in the lord and he will give you the desires of your heart

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  4. Sorry to hear that Jenny. Glad to know you've got such great medical care though, how cool that they already had met to discuss your case.

    Great verse to cling too. We will keep on praying!

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  5. Sending you both lots of love!!!
    Christina D

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  6. Thinking of you and praying for you!
    ~Erin

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  7. That verse speaks so loudly, I can't help but be moved by it. You do abide in the Lord through all circumstances, He is proud of you! He will be glorified through you. Your right to put your hope and trust in Him and not numbers or Drs. I know it's not easy but we are praying with you!
    Much love,
    Raquel

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  8. Jenny~I'm just now reading this! Ugh, my heart aches for you. The wait feels as if it will never end, but there is power in the waiting and much work for the Lord to do. Continue to rely on Him and place your hope in His unfailing love. My very first blog entry ended with that same verse that you posted, as I reflected on how the Lord was the gardener and I was His plant. Pruning is painful at the time, but beautiful when all is said and done. I'm thinking of the song "You make beautiful things..." He is making you beautiful and new while you wait. God will honor your choice to thrive even when it's difficult. He has wonderful plans for you--just wait and see! Love, Gretchen

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